Hopeless and Homeless

I stepped into the well appointed restroom of the hotel and noticed a man washing his hands in the sink, at least that’s what it looked like at first glance. I nodded and smiled, and he asked how I was doing. I said that I was doing good, as I began to take care of my business. It was then that I realized that my initial assessment of this man was incorrect, because he began to talk, and talk, and talk. He was a homeless man, and instead of just washing his hands, he was washing up in the bathroom.

He said that he was depressed, and then he began to babble (or at least that’s what it sounded like to me, probably because I was trying to ignore him).

When I finished doing what I went in there for, I went to the only other sink in the bathroom which was right next to his, and while I washed my hands, he began to reiterate what he had previously said. This time I could hear him, but perhaps more importantly I couldn’t ignore him.

 He said that he didn’t know whether he was a positive or a negative in society. He went on to say that if he was a negative, that he would just end his life because the world would be better off without him. He professed his belief that under normal circumstances taking ones life was an unforgivable sin, but he said that if he was a negative, then God would swoop him up in his arms, because his sacrifice would be in the best interest of society at large.

I grabbed a paper towel from the stack on the tile counter between the two sinks, and I glanced at him. He was looking to me with pleading eyes, and concern on his face as he asked me what I thought. He seemed to be really searching for an answer, so I told him that I had two things to tell him.

The first was that the choice of whether he was a positive or a negative was in his hands.

I said, “Making the initial choice to be a positive is easy, and it can be done right now, right here, in this bathroom. If you decide to be a positive, then you are.” I went on to say that the hard part comes when you have to live up to that initial decision. I said, “Living every moment as that person can be hard, but just realize that the choice is yours. Every time you are given an option for the rest of your life, you can choose to do the positive thing.”

The second thing I told him was that once he was gone, his opportunity to contribution to society would end forever. I told him that he would never again be able to fix or change anything. “Your impact on this world would end.” I said, “Your legacy would be over.”

He seemed kind of stunned, as he repeated to himself the things I had said to him. He looked back to me and the concern on his face had been replaced by hope. He thanked me, and he said that he was glad that he had talked to me, because no one had ever said anything like that to him before.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have talked to him under normal circumstances. As I left the bathroom I wondered how his future would’ve played out if I had ignored him like I normally do. I wondered briefly about all the other homeless people I ignore… I will probably never see this man again, but I hope he lives a long and positive life, one choice at a time.